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Get help

If you think you are in a life-threatening relationship, call 112 or 0800 500 333 the national number 24 hours a day, free of charge.

Get help

How can A.L.E.G. help you?

We offer psychological counseling services to victims of domestic violence, women and children who witness violence, to help them regain control over their lives. We provide information services by phone, email or face to face, under the guidance of a psychologist. Contact us for details by phone +40 753 893 531, Monday to Friday, from 10:00 to 17:00, or by email at contact@aleg-romania.eu

What happens after you contact a specialist? Our psychologists are specialized in domestic violence intervention. Together, you will be able to assess whether you are at risk or not. They will provide a primary counseling session, after which you can agree on an intervention plan – participation in psychological counseling sessions, access to support groups, legal counseling, access to the #ȘiEuReușesc survivors network (Facebook group of support), you can be added to databases for future events, job identification, etc. Each discussion is confidential.

Domestic violence, also known as intimate partner violence, is a pattern of behavior used by one partner in order to gain power and control over the other partner with whom he or she is in a relationship. Any person, of any age, religion, professional status, education or gender can at any time be a victim or aggressor. Such situations can happen between people who are married, living together, or just dating.

Violence against women -
do you recognize the signs?

  • abuz-80

    Physical abuse

    Slapping, hitting, shoving, strangling, kidnapping, use of physical force to hurt you, etc.

  • Asseta 9

    Psychological / Emotional abuse

    Harassment, following, isolation, ridicule, belittle, control (the way you dress/who you see), blackmail, etc.

  • Asseta 10

    Sexual abuse

    Sexual acts forced upon you, without your consent: advances, verbal allusions, gestures, touches (usually, repeated and non-reciprocal) Rape is one of the most serious forms of sexual abuse.

  • Asseta 12

    Economic abuse

    Controlling your income, forbidding you from working, excluding you from money-related decisions, etc.

  • Asseaat 13

    Social abuse

    It is manifested by isolation from family, friends, community.

  • Asseaat 14

    Verbal abuse

    Raising one’s voice, lying, threatening, accusing, criticizing, etc.

  • aaaa15

    Cybernetic abuse

    Controlling social media accounts or banning online interaction, threats to post personal information on the internet.

  • Asseat 16

    Spiritual abuse

    Using faith and religious customs to manipulate, dominate, control.

The cycle of violence.
How it occurs?

Every individual reacts to domestic violence differently: some decide to leave the relationship immediately after the first episode of violence, others stay in the situation, or leave the perpetrator, then go back to him several times. Walker (1979) explains this phenomenon through the cycle of violence, which comprises four phases:

  1. Tension building
  2. Acute violence
  3. Reconciliation/Honeymoon
  4. Calm

Why victims decide to stay
in an abusive relationship?

It takes time to build a relationship and, if at the beginning it is based upon affectionate gestures and trust, in time, the need of one of the partners can turn into power and control. To leave an abusive relationship, the victim needs the support and the help of the people close to her or of specialized services, which is why many of them choose to stay.

Other reasons they choose to stay:

  • Fear of the unknown.
  • Being on your own seems more scary than being a victim.
  • The responsibility of raising children on your own is overwhelming, even if she had no help in the past.
  • The threat that she may lose her children if she walks out of the relationship.
  • The partner promises he will change.
  • The victim feels guilty about her partner not being able to make it without her.
  •  She believes he needs to be saved and she is the only one who can help him.
  • Low self-esteem makes the victim feel like she deserved to be abused.
  • This happens when the partner continuously says his being violent is her fault.
  • Love that does not go away when the relationship turns violent.
  • Social acceptance of domestic violence, through ideas like “She’s still there because she likes it” or “A slap will bring her back to her senses”.
  • Being financially dependent on your partner.
  • The need to find a stable job, a new house, etc. if she leaves him.
  • Religious beliefs promoting mentalities such as “it’s faith” or “it’s God’s will”.
  • Divorce stigma and the thought that it is not normal to break up with your partner.
  • The idea that abuse is normal, based on the lack of examples showing what a healthy relationship is and isn’t.

Help! What to do?

  • Assetaa 17

    When you witness a violent incident

    Immediately call 112. This is the first step towards saving the victim’s life. It doesn’t matter whether you know the victim or not. If you can, accompany her to get first aid or testify for her in court. You may be the only one who can attest to what happened.

  • Asset 18

    When somebody you know faces intimate partner violence

    Don’t ask when her relationship became violent. Listen empathetically and openly and only offer to help if you are asked to. Don’t make assumptions and offer your unconditional support. Don’t push the victim to make any decisions. We all have our own rhythm and mechanisms when facing difficult situations.

  • Asset 19

    If you are facing a difficult situation and decide to leave

    Seek real support when you let your partner know you want to leave. This is one of the most dangerous moments, and it is recommended to happen in the presence of relatives, to receive, if necessary, protection. Use the services of a counseling center or other specialized services (eg support group, shelter, etc.). Find out about the protection order, which forces the aggressor to keep a distance from you.

  • Asset 21

    If you decide to stay in the same house as the perpetrator

    Establish a code for danger through which to let neighbours or friends to take action in case of danger, and to call the police.


What to do to leave safely?

Ask people close to you for support. To stay safe, you may have to move to a place where your former partner can’t find you. If you have children, you may have to transfer them to another school.

Prepare a safety luggage with clothes, money, official documents (ID, birth certificate, driving licence, credit card, etc.), back up house/car keys, documents attesting the violence (pictures, recordings, forensic medicine certificates etc.). . For further details, click here.


What to do after leaving the perpetrator?

  • Try to move to a safe space and only tell people you trust about your new address.
  • Buy a new SIM card and only give the number to people you trust. Change the passwords to all your social media accounts (e-mail, Facebook, Instagram, etc.) to make sure you are not followed.
  • Cancel old bank accounts and credit cards, especially if you shared them with the perpetrator. Change your bank when opening new accounts.
  • If you stay in the same area as the perpetrator, change your daily routine. Take another route to work, avoid places where you used to go together and he could find you, shop in different stores/markets. Always have a charged phone with you, in case you have to call 112.
  • Ask for help from people or organizations specialized in the topic of violence. Find a support group. Try to understand what this new life means for you.

Get a protection order

  • Asset 22

    What is a protection order?

    The protection order is a court order instating urgent measures to protect you and your children. For example, one measure is to oblige the perpetrator to keep a minimum distance from you and your children, or from your and your children’s house, work place or school.

    click here
  • Asset 23

    What to do to obtain a protection order?

    Fill in a standard form, and submit it to the Court in whose jurisdiction you live. The form can be submitted personally or, with your consent, by a prosecutor or a social services worker dealing with domestic violence. There are no costs, as the form is exempt from stamp duties.

How to get financial independence

The moment a woman realizes that she is in an abusive relationship and decides to leave, often the first concern that arises is the financial one. Economic abuse subtly manifests itself at first and then progresses over time by controlling income, banning employment, being excluded from money decisions, and so on. To help you, we’ve released a financial education guide. Get in contact with a specialist for further details at contact@aleg-romania.eu


How companies can get involved

If you own a company or are employed, persuade your team to get involved in finding safe jobs for women, or find out how you can help someone close to you. Write us a message to find out more details.