{"id":3347,"date":"2018-03-16T21:45:52","date_gmt":"2018-03-16T21:45:52","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/aleg-romania.eu\/what-to-do-when-you-decide-to-leave\/"},"modified":"2018-03-16T21:45:52","modified_gmt":"2018-03-16T21:45:52","slug":"what-to-do-when-you-decide-to-leave","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/aleg-romania.eu\/en\/what-to-do-when-you-decide-to-leave\/","title":{"rendered":"What to do when you decide to leave an abusive relationship?"},"content":{"rendered":"<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Be ready to leave at the right time, when you feel safe. The decision is yours and you don\u2019t have to allow anyone to influence you. To help you succeed, we\u2019ve prepared a safety guide, including some of the most important aspects. We suggest that:<\/span><\/p>\n<p><b>You are ready for emergencies.<\/b><\/p>\n<ul>\n<li style=\"font-weight: 400;\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Become familiar with abuse trigger signs.<\/span><\/li>\n<li style=\"font-weight: 400;\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Find the safe spaces in your house, where you can find refuge (avoid small, closed spaces, that you can\u2019t leave, or rooms with potential weapons, such as the kitchen). Choose a room with a phone and a door or a window opening to the outside.<\/span><\/li>\n<li style=\"font-weight: 400;\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Establish a code (word or sign) to warn your children, friends or neighbours that you are in danger and that they should call the police.<\/span><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p><!--more--><\/p>\n<p><b>Make an escape plan<\/b><\/p>\n<ul>\n<li style=\"font-weight: 400;\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Keep your car tank filled. Hide the car back-up key somewhere you can access quickly. <\/span><\/li>\n<li style=\"font-weight: 400;\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Hide emergency money, clothes, important phone numbers and your and your children\u2019s identity documents in a safe place.<\/span><\/li>\n<li style=\"font-weight: 400;\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Rehearse quick safe exit several times. If you have children, rehearse the escape plan with them too, as a game.<\/span><\/li>\n<li style=\"font-weight: 400;\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Memorize a list of emergency contacts. Ask several trustworthy people whether you can ask for their help should you need accommodation or to contact the police.<\/span><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p><b>Protect your privacy<\/b><\/p>\n<ul>\n<li style=\"font-weight: 400;\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">When looking for help, it\u2019s important that you cover your tracks, especially when using the phone or the computer.<\/span><\/li>\n<li style=\"font-weight: 400;\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Try to call from a phone outside the joint house.<\/span><\/li>\n<li style=\"font-weight: 400;\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Use a prepay card (if you use the landline at home, he can request that the monthly invoice includes the dialled numbers). <\/span><\/li>\n<li style=\"font-weight: 400;\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Check the setting of your mobile phone. The perpetrator may use mobile technologies to listen to your calls, to track your location or he can use your mobile phone to follow you, if it has a GPS function. <\/span><\/li>\n<li style=\"font-weight: 400;\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Get another phone, with a prepay card, or use another mobile phone, unknown to the perpetrator.<\/span><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p><b>Computer and internet safety<\/b><\/p>\n<ul>\n<li style=\"font-weight: 400;\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Learn to selectively delete the history of the webpages you access. Deleting your entire history can signal to your partner that you are trying to hide something, so be very careful. <\/span><\/li>\n<li style=\"font-weight: 400;\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Use incognito mode, so that the webpages you access are not saved in your computer memory. <\/span><\/li>\n<li style=\"font-weight: 400;\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Be careful with the e-mails and messages you send; you partner may be able to access your account or know your password. Consider setting up a new e-mail account that he doesn&#8217;t know.<\/span><\/li>\n<li style=\"font-weight: 400;\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Change your passwords to online banking services or to any other accounts. <\/span><\/li>\n<li style=\"font-weight: 400;\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Choose passwords that the perpetrator cannot guess, using combinations of numbers and symbols.<\/span><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<ul>\n<li style=\"font-weight: 400;\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Protect yourself from GPS and recording devices. GPS devices can be hidden in your car, bag, or in other objects you carry with you. Don\u2019t forget to check these. <\/span><\/li>\n<li style=\"font-weight: 400;\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Be aware that the perpetrator may use hidden cameras to check on you. <\/span><\/li>\n<li style=\"font-weight: 400;\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">In case you discover any tracking devices, leave them where they are until you are ready to leave. You may be tempted to remove them, but this will alert the perpetrator and make him more suspicious about your intentions.<\/span><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p><b>Protect yourself after leaving.<\/b><\/p>\n<ul>\n<li style=\"font-weight: 400;\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Protecting yourself is as important after leaving as it was when you lived together.<\/span><\/li>\n<li style=\"font-weight: 400;\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Find a place where your former partner cannot find you. If you have children, you may have to transfer them to another school.<\/span><\/li>\n<li style=\"font-weight: 400;\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Don\u2019t publish your phone number and ask phone service providers to hold it confidential.<\/span><\/li>\n<li style=\"font-weight: 400;\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Use a PO for invoices and as mail address.<\/span><\/li>\n<li style=\"font-weight: 400;\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Cancel old bank accounts and credit cards. <\/span><\/li>\n<li style=\"font-weight: 400;\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">If you open new accounts, choose another bank.<\/span><\/li>\n<li style=\"font-weight: 400;\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">If you stay in the same area as the perpetrator, change your daily routine <\/span><\/li>\n<li style=\"font-weight: 400;\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Take another route to work.<\/span><\/li>\n<li style=\"font-weight: 400;\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Avoid places where he could find you, such as the supermarket you used to go to together.<\/span><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p><b>Always have a charged phone with you and call 112 every time you feel in danger.<\/b><\/p>\n<p><i><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Safety plan adapted by A.L.E.G. from the model of the Association Necuvinte. <\/span><\/i><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Be ready to leave at the right time, when you feel safe. The decision is yours and you don\u2019t have to allow anyone to influence you. To help you succeed, we\u2019ve prepared a safety guide, including some of the most important aspects. We suggest that: You are ready for emergencies. Become familiar with abuse trigger [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":2968,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[37,212],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-3347","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-news","category-resources"],"acf":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/aleg-romania.eu\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3347","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/aleg-romania.eu\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/aleg-romania.eu\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/aleg-romania.eu\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/aleg-romania.eu\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=3347"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/aleg-romania.eu\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3347\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/aleg-romania.eu\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/2968"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/aleg-romania.eu\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=3347"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/aleg-romania.eu\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=3347"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/aleg-romania.eu\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=3347"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}